What Now?

from by The Wonder-Nerds

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N- Charlie was dead, and good riddance too, now he can stop writing songs that are almost completely dialogue. Oh yeah, except for this one, this song is more of a chapter in an audiocomic book than a song.

Roger returned Mitochondrial Eve to her time, and the computer was so pleased with Zack’s bass solo that she activated the electrode in his spine to give him a million orgasms. The now 2/3’s Wonder-Nerds went to the 21st century to see what had changed.

*Time machine noises*

Comp- scanners show that humans survived, outcompeting other hominid species. However, the genetics seem different, with a higher frequency of genes associated with scientific literacy, drumming, and moderate insanity.

R- look outside! Look at the people!

Z- They all look like Charlie!

Comp- My Laser DNA sequenspectrometer confirms your hypothesis. All living humans are Charlie’s descendants, and Mitochondrial Eve was his baby’s mama. I've also located an individual with a genome 100% identical to Charlie’s, living in Decatur, GA USA, a near impossible accident made more likely by the increased frequency of his genes.

Z- I miss Charlie... We could just regroovinate the dead one...
R- That’s anticlimactic, let’s go see the new one!
(space ship noises)

N- And so the Wonder-Nerds found this alternate Charlie, and that he was a scientist, environmentalist, drummer. Being so similar to the original Charlie, and with the approval of the computer, the Wonder-Nerds introduced themselves. They blew alternate Charlie's mind, telling him tales of their journeys, their mission to defeat the man, and how they inadvertently created him and his world. Alternate Charlie vowed to join them in their quest to destroy the Man, so Roger and Zack decided to try out this new Charlie. Then one day, the 2/3’s left the ship to go pedal shopping, leaving Charlie 2.0 alone.

Comp- Hey... Hey Charlie 2.0... I have something I want to show you...
C2- What is it computer?
Comp- Something about the Man, humanity as a whole really, we’ll have to go on a little trip for you to understand... Want to go?
C2- Yeah that sounds fun, do we get to time travel
Comp- Yes indeed...

R- Hey! Where did our ship go!?
Z- HEY! Computer! I’m not getting a signal!
Z- Oh, there it is, back right in time *door opens* Computer, I’m hooome, where did you guys go?
R- What are these machines? What are these creatures?!


from Abuscientia, released July 30, 2013




The Wonder-Nerds Atlanta, Georgia

The start date was 8-7-2721, and in the Star System Beta Canum Venticorum, the Wonder-Nerds ran like pansies from the evil Scrotum Aliens, falling into a wormhole and inadvertently changing all of history as a consequence. The only surviving record of their travels lies in their album, Abuscientia. Listen with caution, skepticism, and most importantly, in chronological order. ... more

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